Dealing with Newlywed Narcolepsy

I was contemplating on whether or not I should add “Newlywed Narcolepsy” as an additional Newlywed Casualty. However, I decided that this “condition” is much more unique than that and deserved it’s own definition.

newlywed narcolepsy (n): The condition of falling asleep during the day randomly because your sleep patterns have been shattered by newlywed life in one or more of the following ways:

1) Your spouse snores like a bear with a squirrel stuck up his nose
2) Your spouse accidentally wakes you up in the middle of the night because you go to sleep at different times
3) You’re not used to sharing a bed with a person and therefore it is ruining your life
4) You’re so in love, you can’t bear to be separated by sleep (BARF! Jk. That’s not a real one).
There are a lot of issues many newlyweds face. Some argue over money. Some argue over which way the toilet paper roll should go. I wouldn’t say Hubs and I are arguing about this, but it’s definitely probably the biggest issue we’ve faced thus far.OUR SLEEPING PATTERNS ARE WAY OFF.

I, silly newlywed that I am, thought there was something romantic about going to bed together at the same time. You know, to maximize cuddle time and say nightly prayers together, etc. Well, I quickly found out that if I wait to go to bed with Hubs, I’m either staying up way late or turning into evil wife nagging him to get to bed by at least midnight.

I understand he’s a college student technically still. I too used to stay up til the crack of dawn working on homework and blogs and such. But now with a day job that I would like to get to by 8 a.m. plus my freelancing responsibilities at night, I really need to get to bed early. My goal is to wake up by 6 a.m. so I can eat breakfast while reading my Bible (technically drink breakfast, but I’ll blog about that later) and to workout in the mornings.

However, with nights like last night, that is virtually impossible.I stayed up later than I had wanted, hoping he’d come to bed at some point because I do hate climbing into bed without him. I think that’s a weird psychological thing I developed in elementary school though because a teacher announced to the class it’s a warning sign that your parents were getting divorced if they went to bed at different times. I seriously thought my parents were on the verge of divorce from 3rd grade til 6th grade because my parents rarely go to bed at the same time. Sure, they were very happy– but my teacher said it was a warning sign. Dumb teacher. Now I realize that they just have different schedules.

And so I figured, if I’m going to maintain my schedule, I should just go to bed when I want to. So last night I went to bed before Hubs…but found it hard to fall asleep. Then when I finally did sometime after 1:30 a.m., Hubs climbed into bed at 3:30 a.m. after finishing his homework. Which of course woke me up.
Which meant that at 6:30, I was so tired I really didn’t hear my alarm. In fact, it became part of my dream where this guy started talking to me and then all of the sudden he started saying, “Beep! Beep! Beep Beep!” And in my dream, I was like “Whoa, dude. Since when can you install your own censorship device and why in the world are you cursing this much at me over that stupid wooden char?” (Yes, I dream about furniture shopping still).So I woke up, staggered around, somehow made it to work by 8 (which was the first time for me! So yay!), but then realized not only did I look like the living dead, but my clothes did not match. Tan dress. Brown shoes. Brown cardigan. BLACK cami. Great. -_-. I was hoping it was a brown cami or at least navy blue. Or at least some kind of dark color that would look nice with brown/tan. I, of course, blamed the husband. Obviously my early morning condition of onset color blindness was induced by sleep depravity. AND running late this morning also turned me into a gremlin so Hubs, sensing that the Force had been disturbed, wiped his extra sleep deprived eyes to make an effort to tell me I looked extra cute this morning.

Obviously he’s a bad liar or he had been plagued by early morning color blindness too.

Unfortunately I don’t have a cure for this one yet. I’m still learning too! But it will be interesting to see how this pans out. Especially since Hubs works until 2 a.m. this morning and he promised he’d go with me to the Farmers Market tomorrow morning before he works at 11 a.m. (His idea! Not mine! Sweet, eh?).
For the time being, I’ll just pretend my brown black combo is what all the kids are wearing these days.
Anyone else suffering from Newlywed Narcolepsy or am I the only one?

2 thoughts on “Dealing with Newlywed Narcolepsy

  1. This cracked me up! Good luck figuring this out; I know you two will work together and come up with a plan. Miss you, Nikki. And I’m not just saying this, but brown and black is one of my favorite color combos. I love to do black dress or jeans + one of my many brown belts. I bet you really did look cute!

    • CJ!!! Thanks! That means a lot. I think you can pull anything off, especially with your belts. I’m still quite jealous of that collection. I hope you’re doing well! Where are you these days?

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