Hi, my name is Nikki, and I have a problem: I am over the top afraid of expired food.
Especially lately, I for some reason have developed a super sniffer and can smell EVERYTHING within a mile radius of me. So my fear has only amplified. Seriously, every time I open the fridge, I’m like this:
Addison, of course, thinks I’m ridiculous. After all, the date on containers is really just the “sell by date.” I get it. I know it. But I’m still terrified of being poisoned.
So how does this make me a terrible wife?
Well…you know how in barbaric medieval times, Royalty hired “taste testers” to come drink and eat their food before them to make sure no one was trying to off the King? The way they’d know if the food was poisoned was if their taste-tester keeled over and died.
Yeah, I sorta make Addison do that. But in my defense, he totally does it willingly because he wants to prove how ridiculous I am. But the truth remains the same: I allow my husband to taste-test the food I’m pretty sure will kill me.
He did it for me today at lunch when I realized my yogurt looked sketchy (mainly because I glimpsed the container’s date after I had already packed it, but it was too late to repack my lunch). Apparently, I was once again ridiculous. The yogurt was fine and yes, I painstakingly ate it even though I still wasn’t 100 percent convinced.
I blame my crazy fear on eating a super clean/fresh/plant-based diet. When you try to eat as healthy as we attempt to, food can go bad fast. You can’t simply shop for two weeks and expect it all to be a-ok when you’re ready to chomp down on a cucumber. But then again, fermented food is becoming a trend now right? Yeah…I don’t think its really the same thing either… (besides, I’m scared of most pickles too.)
But while I’m appreciative of having my personal poison control, taste-tester under the same roof as me, I can’t help but feel guilty. What if for once I’m RIGHT and the rancid food KILLS HIM?
Addison says I don’t have to worry about that. Apparently it’s ludicrous to think I could ever be right. Oh husbands. That’s why I’ll try not to lose sleep over asking him to test the freshness of my food. 😉
And that is why, sometimes, I’m probably a terrible wife.
Does anyone else have a fear of food that’s expired or gone bad?